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It’s taken me a while to get my blogging mojo back. I’ve not been great you see; back in late November I was struggling with staying well – diabetes related – and had a couple of weeks where I am sure most normal people wouldn’t have worked. But I soldiered on. You see for decades that is what I have done. I have, in the Cooper family way, ‘Just got on with it’. What I find, at 51, is that it’s not quite as easy as it used to be. This has all been coupled with something else that has really been worrying me. I just can’t remember things like I used to. These two things together gave me a real sense of being out of control. Why did I feel so tired? I mean, so tired I felt like I could sleep anywhere. Why couldn’t I seem to remember one day to the next, let alone what I had promised to do, nor people’s names? Why didn’t I feel on-top of my game?? I finally think I know what is going on (and before someone jumps in and gives me wise advice of course I will be seeing my lovely Dr R in due course)  I think it’s one of those taboo subjects that no one talks about – the Menopause. After I started to feel a bit better in December I was lucky to go out with my friends, all a similar age to me, from book club, for our pre-Christmas ‘do’. They are all my age contemporaries – a GP, nurse, laboratory scientist, careers advisor, hairdresser and housewife come chef. I love them all. I decided to confess how I was feeling. I am so glad I did. We had a feisty conversation about aging and memory, about being tired, not sleeping, hot flushes and cold night sweats. It seems I am not the only one. One of my friends described her memory symptoms so vividly that I immediately started to feel better. There followed a long debate about the pros and cons of HRT. I definitely came away feeling more normal and much, much more optimistic. Since then, having had the conversation, I feel so much better and am actively doing things that help me to feel good. I know that is obvious but sometimes I just don’t do it! It led me to think about why on earth no one has ever even broached the subject of the menopause and diabetes. In fact no one ever seems to talk openly about the menopause…. It just seems to be jokey comments and a nod and a wink. Is this another taboo subject? The ‘big M’?? I looked online and of course the ‘big M’ does affect diabetes – it’s obvious. If you search online it says so; the ‘Big M’ can make you hypoglycaemic or maybe hyperglycaemic or maybe just a bit unpredictably dodgy…. And of course if sleep eludes you that has a habit of messing everything up too. If you wake up feeling a bit sweaty then is that hypo sweaty or just a sweaty episode? Well of course you just don’t know without testing and testing and testing. Ah, the ‘big M’! The other thing I found was that although again we don’t talk much about it, the ‘Big M’ can affect memory and it seems to be well reported by women, even if it never seems to be discussed openly. I found various pieces of information but this is the most insightful – a healthtalk resource where women talk about their experience – worth a look. You need to understand, I don’t do this sort of messing around in my life! I ‘just get on with it’ and I don’t want to think that the ‘big M’ is getting in my way. Information about what is probably happening to me, along with the shared conversation with my lovely friends, made me feel better. I suppose it’s just another thing like Diabetes, a new visitor in my life, the ‘big M’. My experience over the last month just reinforced for me how important open conversations are and the importance of good quality information. I just wish someone had told me about the ‘big M’ before now. Oh, and I forgot to talk about weight didn’t I?!!? Oh forget that. Lets ignore that! I feel better now and on top of things again. I really wish these were not conversations that make me feel slightly uncomfortable, after all the ‘big M’ happens to many, many people. Why is it that it feels so taboo?

Post script: This blog led me to a group of wonderful women who are determined to change the conversations we have about Menopause and the evidence we have for care about menopause.  To find out more search #changethechange on Twitter

Hen Replacement Therapy HRT – thank you June Girvin 🙂

Who knew? Me 25 years ago 🙂 No ‘big M’ here 😀