Have been working on my diabetes control this week – hard, harder than usual and it got me thinking about choices, dilemmas and conundrums.

If I eat in the evening at 6 or before, I get better control at night – but no one wants to go out for dinner at 5

If I eat healthily I am better controlled – but no one likes to be watched eating pudding alone

If I walk too far my feet burn – but everyone thinks I’m putting it on

I love latte coffee but it’s less good for me – Americano sucks

Being tightly controlled means more hypoglycaemic episodes – means I put on weight

When people are kind to me about having diabetes, I’m horrible and I hate it – what’s wrong with me?? I think I just want to be like everyone else

I can’t be bothered to hide my insulin pump any more (getting too old to be bothered) – but then people stare

If I get on with my life and forget about Diabetes – it always comes back and bites me on the bum

My lovely son had a coarctation of the aorta when he was a baby and had to have surgery – I will never know if it was my fault = #guilt

My biggest fear is losing my sight, not being able to read my beloved books – but I take solace in knowing I would be able to listen to Radio 4 and the Archers

Diet coke is officially the most boring soft drink in the world – but often the only one served in bars (and then you are advised to check as they often give you full fat!)

I couldn’t join the Queen Alexandra’s Royal Army Nursing Corps because of my diabetes – but it didn’t matter in the end

Having a bad hypo during the day is awful but at night is even worse – thank god my pump has made this better

There is no such thing as a day off – but having a ‘kinder-to-self’ day is possible

I hate repeat prescriptions they are the bane of my life – second only to finger pricking

I am never going to run a marathon – but I never was a runner

When I’m going hypo my brain is working so hard to tell me to eat that I often overeat. It’s hard sticking to 15 grams of carbohydrate which is what is recommended

No one ever really celebrates a good day – as there are so many days to do!

I am very organised; planning is critical – but even then I forget stuff!

Diabetes isn’t static so you think you have worked it out then something changes – another ‘what the bloody hell’ moment!

But do you know Diabetes also contributes to who I am and some of who I am is not so bad.