I am very lucky; people often say nice things to me when I work with them or meet them professionally. Not all the time of course – I feel sure I irritate some and that others actively dislike me but I do my best to be myself, to set my own standards and to be authentic. I have previously blogged about authenticity so I feel confident they are responding to the real me these days. I have relaxed into being me and increasingly only know this way.
What I find confusing though is the feedback I get and I can’t decide if it matters or if its just another thing I need to relax into, I mean is this enough?
When people say nice things to me I often ask ‘What do you mean? Can you tell me exactly what I did that made you feel x or y?’.
Their response is most often ‘you are kind’.
I struggle with this – I wonder why kindness is something that isn’t ordinary and deserves feedback in this way. Am I being damned with faint praise? I’m not being disingenuous (or looking for reinforcement) – but isn’t kindness ordinary? I honestly don’t understand the feedback. I’m not looking for more kind (there it is that word again) words but why is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate (definition of kindness) seemingly of note?
So I have thought about all of the adjectives I would like to be and am thinking perhaps need to try a bit harder! Here’s the list:
- Musical (I think I can sing but I fear its not musical)
- Loving (I need to practice this a lot more)
- Generous (there are some things I would struggle to give away)
- Funny ( I would so love to be funny – if you don’t know what I mean look up @gussiegrips)
- Flexible (I can’t even touch my own toes)
- Brave (r)
- Focussed (To say I’m butterfly like is being kind!)
- (more) organised
Don’t even get me started on the list of things I don’t want to be!
Well that’s my list for today. Do you have a list of adjectives you would like to be described as?