Have been working on my diabetes control this week – hard, harder than usual and it got me thinking about choices, dilemmas and conundrums.
If I eat in the evening at 6 or before, I get better control at night – but no one wants to go out for dinner at 5
If I eat healthily I am better controlled – but no one likes to be watched eating pudding alone
If I walk too far my feet burn – but everyone thinks I’m putting it on
I love latte coffee but it’s less good for me – Americano sucks
Being tightly controlled means more hypoglycaemic episodes – means I put on weight
When people are kind to me about having diabetes, I’m horrible and I hate it – what’s wrong with me?? I think I just want to be like everyone else
I can’t be bothered to hide my insulin pump any more (getting too old to be bothered) – but then people stare
If I get on with my life and forget about Diabetes – it always comes back and bites me on the bum
My lovely son had a coarctation of the aorta when he was a baby and had to have surgery – I will never know if it was my fault = #guilt
My biggest fear is losing my sight, not being able to read my beloved books – but I take solace in knowing I would be able to listen to Radio 4 and the Archers
Diet coke is officially the most boring soft drink in the world – but often the only one served in bars (and then you are advised to check as they often give you full fat!)
I couldn’t join the Queen Alexandra’s Royal Army Nursing Corps because of my diabetes – but it didn’t matter in the end
Having a bad hypo during the day is awful but at night is even worse – thank god my pump has made this better
There is no such thing as a day off – but having a ‘kinder-to-self’ day is possible
I hate repeat prescriptions they are the bane of my life – second only to finger pricking
I am never going to run a marathon – but I never was a runner
When I’m going hypo my brain is working so hard to tell me to eat that I often overeat. It’s hard sticking to 15 grams of carbohydrate which is what is recommended
No one ever really celebrates a good day – as there are so many days to do!
I am very organised; planning is critical – but even then I forget stuff!
Diabetes isn’t static so you think you have worked it out then something changes – another ‘what the bloody hell’ moment!
But do you know Diabetes also contributes to who I am and some of who I am is not so bad.
anniecoops 
Great blog…….it’s all about the Dark Art of Diabetes!
Caryn: Oh yes hun – you and I know all abut that ancient old art 🙂
Ah, so true, Annie. I can relate to many of your comments. I always want my diabetes/blood sugar control to be perfect – and it never will. Some days – that is hard to really understand and accept. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Joyce – its so frustrating isn’t it 🙂 But then I know I am lucky too. I remember what it was like in 1979, so its not so bad in truth. but a day off would be very nice 🙂
Along with so many other kind and generous people with diabetes you do a great service by helping us healthcare professionals understand some of the realities of D-life, Anne.
Complete #respect. Thanks so much for sharing 😌
HI Annie, you really kept my attention with this blog (not that you don’t normally) Your condition like many is life changing and life controlling. You have to be in it to understand it. Having said that, you have not let it get in the way of who you are, even if it has contributed to who you are. As a fellow professional I know you are looked up to, lets face it you were in the top list of most influential up and coming leaders in the NHS. Just reflect on this and consider just how many peoples lives you are influencing and changing in your role as a highly respected senior nurse in one of the biggest institutions in the world. 🙂
great blog Annie
Irene, thank you for your kind comments. You are too kind. X
Thank you kev
Great blog – you really are able to make the reader feel your conundrums – inspirational as ever
Thank you for a wonderful blog. You hit the nail on the head with this! Superb!! It’s been part of my life for 33 years and delighted to say I ran London marathon in 2012 for Jdrf. I was never a runner and I’m still not but had to do it to prove the diabetes wouldn’t stop me!! Never say never!!
Respect to you Annie!
Conundrums (the ups and downs of diabetes) | He...